toward the ledge:

changing the world thru loving and serving others. without agenda

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this is crazy… doesn’t add up

“…what do you do when the will of God doesn’t add up?  what do you do when a dream doesn’t fit within the logical constraints of your left brain?  what do you do with a promise that seems impossible?  …too often we let  HOW get in the way of WHAT God wants us to do.  we can’t figure out how to do what God has called us to do…so we don’t do it at all.  you know God wants you to go on the mission trip, but it doesn’t add up.  but sometimes you have to step out on faith, even when it doesn’t add up.”  (The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson)

the book excerpted above is about the power of bold and specific prayer (it was a great read, by the way.  check it out).  about when it doesn’t always ‘add up’.  when your vision exceeds your resources.  when you can’t never always sometimes tell (meaning anything is possible).  when what you (and probably others in the family and friends circle) are thinking THIS IS CRAZY.   

but as the author of the book says…if you aren’t willing to put yourself in the ‘this is crazy situation, you may never experience the resulting ‘this is awsome’ moments.  just like you can’t NOT pray when you are running or paragliding off a cliff, it is also true when we are taking a flying leap of faith.

i’ve been speaking at various places not only about my experiences but about BEING CALLED.  (more on that later, another blog) .  and you KNOW that i have been called to do this work in tanzania.  and i KNOW.  but you see….here we are just weeks away from my departure and….i still don’t have quite enough support for my ministry expenses.  and i for sure don’t have much momentum if any in regards to the funds needed for the children’s education, for water, for the other important things in the school and village.

so this blog is devoted to the fact that many of my family and friends probably are thinking that THIS IS CRAZY (umm, or maybe that i am crazy) .  and that it just doesn’t make sense, in many of your minds, that i would go without certainty.  without money in the bank.   and they are worried i am sure.  and being practical and logical.  but….sigh.  sometimes faith isn’t about our practical, safe, logical ways.

the logical restraints of a left brain (and certainly the practical and logical thoughts of those around me) say:  YOU CAN’T GO UNLESS YOU HAVE THE MONEY.  and to be perfectly honest, i am scared to pieces that these things are not in place.  i’m overwhelmed.  a bit paralyzed.  and feeling like….confused, a failure, and well, you can imagine.

but here’s the thing.   all the past 3 years, i have been provided for.  protected in some very challenging and potentially health related situations.  i’m a bit (ok.  a LOT) undone by the fact that in spite of all of the contacts and presentations i’ve made, and all the plotting and planning, the money needed isn’t there.  but. i BELIEVE that God placed this vision and this calling to me.  i further more BELIEVE that the plans were given to me by Him. so perhaps this is the ultimate lesson of faith and trust (scary as it can be). and maybe throw in the lesson of patience and waiting .

so.  i’m in, God.  i’m leaving here on June 2.  and i’m just totally in Your Hands, cause i’m doing all i know to do, and i know deep down and without a doubt that i’m to go as planned.  and i acknowledge that it’s crazy (uh, can we also use that other “C” word – courageous instead lol).  and  i acknowledge that it is not (AT THIS MOMENT) adding up but i BELIEVE that it will.  i BELIEVE that God already has selected those that will be partners with me, and He is at this moment working on their hearts.

and here i am again.  leaping from the edge which was the initial reason for naming my blog ‘toward the ledge’ when this calling started in the fall of 2010.  and, no it really doesn’t get any easier making that leap but you do learn that you can trust that you will be guided down safely.

as always, your prayers, your thoughts, your love is greatly appreciated.


empowering vulnerable children, widows and families to have a better future

empowering vulnerable children, widows and families to have a better future

  • consider being a part of my Mission Support Team: whether you can send $10, $25 or $100 per month.  currently i have about 50% of the required monthly budget committed.
  • consider sponsoring a child’s education for $30/month or $360/2014 year,  so that one child receives meals, uniforms, supplies, books, transportation, teachers so that they can receive their education.  $10 of that $30 per month is allocated to food, $10/month is allocated to education staff, and the rest is spread out between books, supplies, medical, transportation, utilities.  we have 140 children registered this year in nursery through grade 2.
  • consider funding a hydro-geological survey to determine the water availability, quality, production, etc for $1,000.  the government requires these surveys in order to move into the estimate by a water drilling company.  we have a shallow well at 18m which is dry and we have hit rock, impassable with hand tools.

these are the priority needs at this time, and part of a larger list.  whether as an individual, a family, a class or group, or organization, thank you for considering being a partner of Pieces of Hope.

  • Supporters of the Pieces of Hope Tanzania (POHT) can make tax deductible contributions through our fiscal sponsor Bixby Community Church (BCC), a registered 501(c ) 3.  BCC will provide donors with tax receipts. Donate online at
  • please contact me at regarding my personal mission expenses or the water survey funding, especially if you use the fiscal sponsor link so that i know how to allocate funds.