continuing the stories of women from makanya village . . .
HAWA is 30, with one daughter. although she is from makanya, she was living in tanga (along the coast) with her boyfriend but returned to makanya after her parents died within a short time of each other. in 2009, she started getting very sick. a repetitive theme, it took time, a series of tests and several doctors before they finally discovered what was wrong; she received the diagnosis of HIV in 2010. she started using the ARV meds right away, but months later, she heard about a medicine man in tanzania (that made national news) that had a cure for many illnesses, including HIV/AIDS. hawa, along with millions of people around the world, and some from the makanya HIV group, traveled to take the special tea. hawa then discontinued taking her HIV meds (the others in the group continued their HIV meds). since then, her health has been on a roller coaster, more down than up. in november 2011, her boyfriend died in a car accident, causing another emotional blow, resulting in a very critical health relapse and eventually a hospital stay. just recently released, she lives with an aunt because she needs watchful care; when she lives alone she doesn’t eat properly, and we don’t believe that she takes her meds regularly. the meds make her sick, so she avoids taking them. during the home visit, a proper food regime was discussed to help diminish the effect. as expected, at 30, she is quite independent, would prefer to be back in her own home and the relationship between her and her aunt is a bit stressful due to personality differences. however, with encouragement from emmason and habiba, she did finally agree that she needs the assistance and she will stay. for now.
REHEMA, at 42 has 5 children, married for 17 years. her husband has abandoned her and the children. with no way to support herself or the children, they all live in a one room structure, often without food. impossible for us to imagine. on the day of our visit, in fact, she had not eaten that day. the two daughters that were there had clothing with zippers that wouldn’t zip, holes. during our discussion, looking at these little girls, and the hungry quiet despair on rehema’s face – it was so difficult for me to keep my emotions in check.
so. her story. husband had a job with the gypsum plant; his job would keep him away for periods of time. he came home on the weekends a few times sick, but early symptoms of HIV are not always easily identifiable and can be explained as other things. when she herself became ill, she was tested, diagnosed as HIV+ in 2007 . she finally convinced him to get tested, and he tested positive as well. he places the blame on her, and she says he brought it home to her..so…the blame shift began. now they say the other brought this into the family. and we might ask at this point, does it matter?
so sad, he says he still loves her, but he left her and the children 2 years ago to live with another woman, who is also HIV+. it is easy to cast stones, and indeed, it seems cowardly and irresponsible. but after hearing his side of the story as told to emmason, i realize that none of us can judge because we are not living with this situation, in his world, we haven’t walked in his shoes. and it really is not our judgement to make. that all being said, it is still difficult to imagine or justify his actions, but he believes that his family will more likely receive help from the community if he is NOT there. i cannot imagine the grief and pain that rehema must live with, in addition to all of those same emotions – knowledge that she likely will not see her children grow to adulthood. that she cannot feed them. or provide them a way to go to school. before: she was living a life of poverty but she was married, had a husband she loved, 5 lovely children and after: she has less than nothing it seems.
rehema is on ARV meds but lack of nutrition is visibly taking a toll. the KIWAMMA women (ester and habiba) try to help with food when they can, and they also tracked her husband down, attempting to get him to return, to participate, to help her in some way. the reality is that he has nothing and no way to contribute so i don’t have much hope that he can make the changes he needs to. but i hope for his families sake that he is able to be part of their lives in some way that works for them all.
statistics estimate that 1.2 million tanzanians (aged 15 and over) are HIV+, this is about 5% of tanzania’s population. how accurate this is? hard to guess, as many will decline testing for various reasons – fear of stigma, lack of access to testing, fear of knowing the results, denial, symptoms have not surfaced, etc. the groups most affected are youth, women, poor and the mobile (transitioning, traveling). the women in makanya hit all of these, as women of poverty and coming into contact with the men who travel / driving the delivery trucks. the women that i have met so far in makanya are just everyday people. they had a boyfriend or they got married. they tried to make a living by farming, having a small shop, sewing, etc. they were poor and struggled. they are still poor and still struggling but with the additional challenges placed upon them due to the HIV virus. they remain courageous, strong and they are survivors. but they do need help.
i am blessed to have met them, and i am honored to continue to be part of their story, to learn from them, to do my part to help in whatever way it is presented to me.
this is a poem that sadock johnson placed on our foot2afrika fb page. i love it; i think it is lovely and fits this moment.
all you can do is what you can. show your heart, reach out your hand.
so much to do, so little time. just look around and you will find
it never ends, it has just begun.
love you always…
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